Musings of a Misfit Pirate!

Oh Captain, my Captain!

2007-09-09T12:59:00.001-07:00

Dear Naeva, (And Ari, and Zip)

OH MY GOSH I WENT TO HELL AND MET CAPTAIN AMERICA! IT WAS AWESOME! WE HAD TEA!

Love, Retsu

P.S.

Let's hang out soon!

Letter to a Friend

2007-07-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Naeva,

I'm so sorry that I haven't talked to you in... well... months.

You see, towards the end of my pregnancy I was having a lot of complications, the doctor told me that it was because of my size, I'm very small. I landed on Antonio's, I don't know if you know him, he's a part of The Party, and Tristen lives with him (They really do need to get married.), doorstep. He was kind enough to let me stay at his house.

I went into labor there, I don't remember a lot of it. I threw some vases and I think I broke an ashtray, and said a lot of things I didn't mean to poor Tristen, though when I apologized later he told me he knew that I didn't mean it, that I was just in pain. He's so nice... Sometimes I wish he liked girls...

I had a baby boy, he's so tiny, and he's absolutely precious. We named him Natsu Carroway. I love him, so much.

I feel so guilty though, for the first few months I wasn't able to do anything or go anywhere. I don't remember a lot of it, I was really sick, and really hurt for a long time. The birth was really hard on me, and I worried Tristen so much. But I'm better now. I get tired easily, but I'm better, and I'm able to take care of my family like I should.

My family. How weird is that? I have a family. Hehe.

How are things going with you and Ari? Everything alright? I keep hearing about all this stuff that happened while I was away, things that happened with Kairi, horrible about her hitting her head like that... Things about the children... Is Zillah really losing his mind? And I hear Rena is missing too. It's all so weird, so dramatic.

Anyways, I should tend to Natsu, he's getting into things he shouldn't. They grow up so fast.

Write me back!

Lots of love,

Retsu

2007-05-28T09:59:00.001-07:00

I talked about getting a pet chicken last night.

I don't think Nadia enjoyed that idea too much, but Joel thought the baby Cockatrice idea was cute.

I also don't understand why she got all funny when I talked about Tristen and Antonio.

Oh well.

More importantly though... I'm very sure I don't have a lot of time left.

Scarce

2007-05-23T01:15:00.000-07:00

I'll be more scarce than usual now, with these false labor pains driving me up the wall.

They're bad. I won't lie. I cry.

But I'll survive. I know I will.

Tristen and I narrowed the names down to two, and no matter what the baby will have his last name.

Christianna for a girl, or Natsu for a boy.

Mothers Day and Beyond...

2007-05-17T01:47:00.000-07:00

Thank you for the mother's day note Rowane.

It made me smile. ^_^

For those of you that seem to be concerned with 'what's wrong'... I think it's pregnancy blues to be honest. That and I should really get out of this awful house. But I'm so big I can't barely move, I remember my master telling me once that when I got pregnant I'd never be able to move, and he was right. Oh was he ever right. I can hardly get up now, though I manage to get around and exercise.

I'm sure the child is a boy, he's tormenting me already.

I think I have a name that I like, I'll have to hunt Tristen down.

Besides. I want some snuggles. And pineapples. ;.;

I've also got to get my relationship priorities straight... As much as I adore you Lelly I'll have none of what's recently come about. Besides, this close to the end of it all I'm really not able to handle the stress.

I may also have found an ideal building location. And to those of you that voiced your concerns, no it isn't in the Crusades. And as much as I love Hell, especially a couple of the locations in Limbo, no it's not there either. I'd thought about Japan...

I have origins in Japan. My master told me that often when I was little...

The place frightens me though. It doesn't disgust me like Agrabah, it only frightens me. It's like those little pieces of myself that I might learn going to this place terrify me, and I tell myself over and over again that I'll just go tomorrow.

After all, without procrastinators we wouldn't have post-its.

I was looking at that Carthage area, Miss Naeva has a house boat. I've always loved the water. But it's dangerous. When the baby starts to crawl, then walk, I don't know if I could constantly have my eye on him.

I'm starting to feel sick, I think I'll go lie down. I hurt all over. ~.~

Mistake

2007-05-09T10:44:00.001-07:00

I wonder sometimes now if I've made a mistake.

Kicks and stuff.

2007-04-26T14:48:00.000-07:00

I don't leave the house too often anymore. I'm so lazy. I need to get money for a new place though, for the baby.

I feel bad, I don't see Lelly very much at the moment either, when I do leave the house I'm exceptionally busy, all the time. And it's starting to wear on me, my back hurts.

I need to go and see Rena about it, see if there's something she can give me. Or Fancy was recommended to me too, I hear she delivers lots of babies.

I'm starting to REALLY be pregnant now. And I'm afraid of when the braxton hicks thingies come.

I feel so silly. I've never really had anyone tell me about these kinds of things, in all the years that I've been around...

Babies

2007-04-19T00:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I am officially going to have a baby.

How odd.

I never thought it would happen...

I never thought a lot of things would happen.

It was one crazy mess of course, with tons of upset. Rena was furious, it took ages to calm her down. And Mr. Ari came and looked at my ears and tail to see if I was something he hunts, which I thankfully am not. I think that upset Rena even more though, the fact that he even considered hurting me. Poor Rena... I worry her so much.

I met a pretty girl named Naeva, too, I like her. She's nice. Shy. But nice. And Mr. Ari likes her a lot. Rena and I tried to convince him to tell her how he feels after she left, but I don't think it worked. Oh I hope he tells her. They can't wait for men that may never come back forever. Believe me. I know. You nearly lose the ones that are right there in front of you.

Speaking of men that play disappearing acts...

Manlius sent me a note, asking me to take him back.

I told him no. I told him we could be friends at the most, but no.

I have my Lelldorin, and that's all I need. And I don't think he took kindly to that because he hasn't said anything since. But Lelly is what matters. I only hope that he takes to the baby when he, or she, is born. I don't want there to be some kind of problem.

But when I told him I was going to have a baby he said the sweetest thing ever to me.

He said 'I don't care, as long as you're with me.' And I just broke down and cried right there.

Oh but I'll still have to snuggle Tristen, he's really very good at that. Even if he doesn't like girls so much.

I also heard Zillah's baby was finally born. I hope he and Ryasha are happy, I really do. I mean, I hope for the baby's sake they worked something out at least, I'll bet she's beautiful, maybe looks like Ryasha. I wonder if Zillah will tell her about Miss Lime one day, or what Ryasha's family thinks about her.

I wonder what MY family will think of my baby.

And by family of course I mean like Rena, and Lelly, and all of my other friends. (I should go talk to Nadia. She knows a lot about kids, I mean look Maharet is already six.)

Old Friends, New Friends

2007-04-06T22:40:00.000-07:00

I walked into the Stag the other day to visit Nexela.

I like to visit with him, he's wonderful company.

Well... I didn't recognize him at first when I walked in. Not Nexela, but a man sitting at the table. It took for him to talk, to say something to me. Just two simple words. Hello Milady. And I knew who it was.

Manlius. That bastard. How DARE he come back now. How DARE he. After almost a year he has the nerve to come back. And yeah, okay, he went running after his friend, and it was sad, but how DARE he. He didn't leave a note. He didn't say ANYTHING. Two fucking weeks after he proposes he vanishes. And now he's back and wants ME to take HIM back.

I considered it. I really did consider it.

But I have someone far more important in my life at the moment. And he's the person that counts the most. Not to mention I still need to talk to Tristen, we have a... little problem now.

Faeries?

2007-04-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

Tristen gave me something to drink yesterday, he told me I'd see some green faerie if I drank it.

I vaugley remember what happened last night.

It was an exceptionally comfortable closet. And the Eidolon Clanhall is nice. Great job Zillah.

But my GOD my head hurts. I don't think I'll be doing that again anytime soon.

Wedding Bells

2007-03-31T23:45:00.000-07:00

Today was Rena and Apocalypse's wedding.

I was honored when Rena asked me to be the maid of honor, and I did everything I could to help make sure it was perfect for her.

Morning started out good, I met up with Rena early in the morning and helped her get ready, though I had to leave at one point to help poor Joaquin, he went and got knocked out and had all his stuff stolen again. I had to summon a piece of him from the past holding on to all the equpiment and items he had on him just before it was all stolen so he could get it back again. He's such a doll, honestly. And I love to hug him. :D

Moving on, I ended up leaving all of my own stuff back at my house in Sctoland, which kind of made decorating difficult. Autumn and I were talking at the Royal Stag Inn for a good while while we waited on Lorenzo. (He was the man of the hour, made everything possible.) Apocalypse was nice enough to get me something from K'Mala that I needed.

Well, Lorenzo teleported Autumn and I right to the spot where the wedding was being held so we could decorate! It was fun, except that Virgil came in and tried to kill Autumn, and she had to do all the decorating while I told her what to do since I wasn't able to use my magic. Lorenzo made chairs and stuff, it was beautiful. And it had a perfect mix of the bride and groom. (Lorenzo also brought us all our stuff to wear too, it was great. Though I doubt I'll ever wear a dress again. Don't tell anyone that I kind of liked it a little bit. It made me feel pretty in a silly way.)

Well the guests started arriving after we were all finished, the best man wasn't able to show but Autumn jumped in and filled the spot for the occasion! (-sigh- Pop thought I was a boy. I don't look that bad do I?)

Well, once the ceremony got started, and we got Bearbelly's Imp to shut up, I hate those stupid things, everything ran smoothly. There was a minor point where Percival had to be told to shut up, but other than that it was brilliant. It took a lot in me not to actually cry.

Congratulations guys. I hope it's a long, and happy life for the two of you together.

Afterwards there was cake, tea, and champagne. Autumn said I could have some if I wanted, but I'm not allowed to get drunk. So I didn't.

Though I have coffee now.

I drink it in toast to Miss Lime occasionally. For her memory.

Speaking of memories...

I got rid of Manlius today. The last of my physical memories of him. I don't even have a picture, how harsh is that? Now it's just mental memories, and I'm sure those will fade in time. But it was hard, very, very hard to get rid of that silly little piece of paper.

Don't tell anyone. I cried for a long time after the wedding.

But I think it's over now. I think I might be free.

2007-03-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

What kind of moron loses their journal?

I do.

And I found it in bloody MALTA of all places. It took hours, and I kept getting arrested, but I finally got it back.

I think they're just out to get me.

2007-03-05T16:46:00.000-08:00

Lime is... dead?

I don't understand. Why?

I also met a charming young woman named Ryasha, a pregnant lady, with connections to someone I know from a distance. I hope things work out.

And there's some horrid flirt running around, I haven't made much of a decision on him but as of right now I'm not too keen on him. Ramaku.

2007-02-27T23:01:00.000-08:00

Never. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. EVER. EVEEEEEEEER try to cast ressurect without being in an inn.

OW. >.<

So I've been spending a lot of time at the Stag, hanging around Nexela. Man I missed him.

I miss a lot of people. I think it's time to join a clan or something so I caPublishn actually have some company.

And Lime, I still want that coffee. >:( I've never had it, and I wanna try it and you're the first person to willingly offer it to me. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

P.S.

SL never gets old.

:D

2007-02-14T17:41:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHA. I hit a trap again. I'm on a roll. I'll never find them intentionally, just unintentionally.

I'm so glad people were nice enough to help me though. Samael, Meffrid, Spyder, Apocalypse, Rena, and a whole bunch of other people. I love them all so much. <3

Man, and I heard Kairi had four babies. FOUR. I'm so out of the loop. That's a lot of babies.

Alone.

2007-02-12T11:25:00.000-08:00

I think I'm going to stick with being alone for a little while.

At least until I find people I'm comfortable with.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, too, and while I think I'm going to leave my piracy behind and do something more with my life. Not like, completely ditch it, but become more. I don't want to be alone forever, I want friends I can count on and be with and be involved with, but first I need to work things out in myself.

Besides, I'm tired of people shooting at me or trying to entrance me when we're in PD. And the looks on their faces in the south side...

Those are my spawn you know. Well, sort of. My descendants that is. Since I was born in Ancient.

Like I said, not going to ditch it, but I'm going to take another path for a little while.

Lalala random~

2007-01-29T18:13:00.000-08:00

I started part of my tour last night with Tarja. I don't think she was as happy with the results as I was. She didn't want me to get naked, and kept killing everyone that looked at me.

Though she was right, I have a cold now. But it was totally worth it.

Ran around with Samael again last night. That was fun. :3

And Zierath gave me a flower... A really pretty flower, before we ran PD. Tarja and I were talking about it, I'm pretty sure he was just trying to get rid of it.

2007-01-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

I think Manlius is gone for good. I've been pretty down about it. Oh well. It'll teach me not to rely on anyone but me from now on. And while I can't really use Ryad as an excuse... He left too. And I loved him a whole bunch. Even though I never told him so.

Hensworth is back, that's pretty neat. Though I think he got stupid or something because he lost all his skills and experience.

Hung out with Samael, Woodrow, and Hens, and ran around terrorizing Industrial. That was fun. Makes me wish I could hang out with people like 'em more often. I like Samael, he's fun. And I missed Hensworth, Woodrow's pretty neat too.

Got me a new chalice again too! Thanks Many! Sorry I didn't run around Shadowlands with you man. Last time I did a major run with you I got you killed.

I think I'll stick with smaller runs. I'm more useful then. I can hit some, and I can take hits pretty good, but there seems to be an abundance of my trade about. Cause mages you know? Keep it low key. :3

My mood is improving I think.

Also met this absolutely CHARMING lady, I loved her, she was awesome, Iashaylla I think that was the name I caught between she and Samael's conversations, we didn't really get introduced but she was great to talk too. She was born and raised in hell, she likes it there too! Maybe she'll go run around there with me some time.

P.S.

I have a new rule. I'm not gonna help anyone get some fighting experience over level ten unless they can show they're grateful, and I refuse to help anyone that doesn't say please or thank you. I'm so sick of people walking all over everyone, and thinking they can have the whole world handed to them on a platter. (Shooter) I'm done with all that. Ugh, bunch of ungrateful little whiners. I feel so old, but you know, back in my day we had to actually work for the majority of our stuff, we had help, but we were grateful for it and we know to give back!

WHOA!

2007-01-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

Man, the weirdest thing happened the other day.

I was walking down around the Carribean, and I took a turn, saw a bunch of pirates, and the next thing I remember is lying naked at the inn I'd stayed at thousands of miles away.

I knew my rep was bad, but man.

I went back down in that area helping poor Cup get a word, and sweet Midir they did it to me again! And I'd just about got all my stuff back!

Then we were running in the sewers in Paris in the Industrial Zone and I'd got caught behind, should have just done what Quimby did and sat still, someone said to go two south so I did, and the stupid Phantom snagged me and brutalized me.

Then it all went downhill from there.

It was just NOT a good day. Man I felt awful. Still feel awful.

BUT, tomorrow is a new one, it'll be better then!

Yar Har...?

2006-12-29T00:16:00.000-08:00

Stupid Fogg. Sending you out on impossible quests.

How in the heck does he expect me to get to the Plains of Ill Luck and back without running the whole of Shadow Lands, or for that matter getting myself killed by the Skatha!

I'm trying really hard to be helpful to people, I really am, but I can't help but get annoyed sometimes, because they tend to be so ungrateful. It's a thankless job, and I understand it, but still. I'm not asking them for coins, all I'm asking for is two simple words. It doesn't kill people to do that.

I do everything in my power to help people. I guess it's wearing in me that I get some crap because I can't always do whatever they want, or I can't get what they need fast enough. I'm doing what I can, I am just one Cause mage, and I'm not particularly a strong one either.

I don't know. I guess I'm just asking people to cut me some slack is all.

On the plus side...! I'm going on a "tour" soon!

AAAAAAAAAH!

2006-12-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh. Do you think I'm a bad person because I lost this for so long?

I think I am. ._.

I feel a little awful, I've been doing a lot of runs revolving around the Pirate Den lately, and I've only ever been to like... East, West, and North. Well we went into the South Side.

I think I may have known some of the people that we bumped off. I mean, they were bad pirates and all, but still!

I've also gotten stronger, not really physically, but mentally, I think everything I'm trying to learn is paying off.

Note to self though: I really, really, really shouldn't run PD anymore. I confuse people, what with my background and all. Ahhhh. I'm so sorry.

Oh and I'm so confused. I really am. I've been alone and on my own so long that having someone around me all the time when I'm not running with a group of people is kind of... well it's a little irritating, I'll admit it. I do adore Manlius, but I'm more of a solitary sort of person if you know what I mean.

I don't know...

But I also love being around people and with them. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for this love thing. I'll have to keep looking into it though.

Um....

No I don't think there's much else, just a lot of runs. Done a lot of Shadow Lands lately, got some awesome stuff from in there. I love to collect stuff, which is why I like going into Hell. There's so much stuff in there, it's brilliant, I love it, really.

Well I'm going to just... Go now. And try to do something more intresting outside of doing that stupid quest for Fogg, or trying to do what the Laibon asks of me. Ugh.

Fwah.

2006-11-17T15:48:00.000-08:00

Went into the Shadowlands again, twice, over the course of the last week or so. We went and finished off the second side and then went back to play around in the first side.

Many was there. I hadn't seen him in ages. And Krista too! Again, great fun. Though I felt bad because I left Manlius to join in on the run, but he said it was okay.

I've been doing some thinking. He wants to join the Knights of Legend, and I'll back him up no matter what his decision is.

I should also try to avoid Salem and Malta from now on, they keep arresting me for being a witch. And while it's true it's starting to get annoying. And they're not particularly bright in Malta, they'll put me in jail and I'll just use magic to get out.

I've also found the perfect place to make money. It's awesome.

We were in Boston some yesterday too, I actually got Rune out and about to do things and he didn't complain. I was surprised. I think he's getting better and I'm proud of him for it. Of course he got me arrested in Salem so I left him a nasty little present in his room. He's not particularly fond of dead things so I left Johnny's skeleton in his room for him. I'm sure he enjoyed it.

Next time I'll stay in there and be invisible and make him do stuff. I was off visiting one of Manlius' other houses though, we were talking there and he was showing me around, and then we went to the castle in Romania.

That place will always give me the creeps. It's so horrible there. I hated doing those things to join the guards, I only did it to get rid of that horrible king that seems to continue to return to power no matter how hard we try to get rid of him.

I think I'll go out and adventure again.

Wow.

2006-11-16T01:08:00.000-08:00

Today was... I think the most amazing day I've had in ages. Much more fun than when we went to Hell the other day.

So I got a message after a little while of wandering around, asking if I wanted to go to the Shadowlands, the second part of them. I agreed. I'm not going to pass it up, I love big adventures like that. Well anyways, so it was a grand time in there. And then we went and offed the big ugly lion in Greece, and Herne too. Then when everyone disbanded I went around travelling with Manlius for a while.

It was amazing. I hadn't had so much fun in a long time. He took me home to his Villa, and we spent time talking there. He told me he was thinking about joining the Knights of Legend. Something inside of me just kind of cracked a little bit, I was really sad to hear it for some reason, even though it would make him happy I really just didn't want him to go. I was afraid of losing him for some reason.

Isn't that silly? I don't think I'd ever felt like that before, even about Rune.

I can't love him though, it would be just so weird. Number one because I have that aging problem. Though I could fix his two.

And people just don't love me. I'm too 'cute' for that sort of thing.

But I think I might just have feelings for him. I'll have to think really hard on it.

And I think I've got into the habit of collecting junk. My house is full of it. I'll need to sell it. I just love the shiny things for some reason.

But again. I need to think on my feelings for Manlius... It's almost... Well, no not almost, it is frightening. I've never felt like this before.

Maybe I could ask Krista... or Kairi... They might know. They're the only ones I could think of asking. Or maybe my new friend Luvior. Though he just doesn't pass me as the sort to look too much into something like... you know... love and stuff. I like him a lot too. Though not in the same way. He's really spooky and mysterious, and he swears he's bad news, but he'd have stabbed me the other day when I stumbled on him in that case. And he didn't.

I stand by my judgement that he's a good person.

Pent up energy.

2006-11-15T15:48:00.000-08:00

So I was told to start documenting the things that I do in my dialy life in order to relieve some of the pent up energy I've got.

I'll get right on that. Starting the next time something fun happens to me.